Saturday learnings.

Once upon a Saturday there was a chubby 25 year old man who was distraught due to the unwarranted awakening at 4:00 am. The source of his unnaturally early arousal is still unknown. however, his determination to return to his divine slumber still burnt with an ardor the likes of which few have witnessed or experienced. All his efforts were in vain. Poor Jessica Alba would have to wait fore him in dream land. Sigh.

The previous night's activities were calming and peaceful, not to mention fulfilling. In the singles/student ward, which he attends, there were various service opportunities that had been presenting themselves. Those from Friday night were setting up tables and chairs for the ward they were assisting for their Christmas festivities. The following morning there would be a breakfast smorgasbord, which due to his work schedule he would be unable to attend. Thwarted by the inability to be present for the Saturday morning, he held a desire in his kung-fu grip to serve in one way or another the following day. He decided that this was the reason for his nocturnal distress.

His discovery was that a long day is made longer by sleep deprivation.

He worked through the hours of the morning and in to early afternoon, the service opportunities seemingly insincere for he was on the clock. Getting paid for what services you provide seems unjust. 3:00 p.m. arrived without warning and his desire seemed like it slipping away faster than a Mclaren F-1. He called his roommate and asked, "Hey dude. Are you at work?" the reply was affirmative so he made his way to his roomies place of employment. While on the way much to his delight an attractive young lady was driving her car with a flat tire. He informed her with a strongly placed whistle and followed her into the parking lot of the local shopko. Luckily enough for her, her mother was in the car directly in front of her, however he would have felt unsatisfied had he left them there to fend for themselves. He stayed and insisted through some persuasive language and happy-go-lucky demeanor was allowed to aid them in the tire change. They expressed their gratitude and the young man was satisfied with remaining the random stranger that saved the day for that lovely young lady.

His lesson learned in this instance was that if the true desire to serve is present, the opportunity will present itself. You have no more to do than look for it.

The rest of the day seemed as though it would be as uneventful as any other Saturday. After his room mate had left work, our hero went to his grandparent's home. He rested a while on the familiar comfort of the blue sofa which had been there since his childhood. A sudden desire to "do" something entered his heart. After many laborious phone calls his childhood friend answered with tales of Halo 3 and other such wonders. He ventured out, hungry and thirsty, a trip to obtain a chicken sandwich seemed in order. Upon arrival at the abode of his friend he sat and the savory sandwich graced his mouth satiating his hunger while the sweet nectar of his carbonated beverage trickled down his throat quenching his thirst. The games soon became boring when some number of hours later another of the residents of the apartment arrived from work with information leading to activities which sounded quite entertaining. We ventured out once more this time to Rooster's, a local brewery with pizza and other college aged delicacies. Upon arrival at the resaurant a familiar voice filled the air with cries of his name on her lips. locking in on the origin of the voice he sat and conversed. She offered him humus. "Delightful!" he exclaimed.

His lesson he learned now was, Humus + his mouth = delicious!

The conversation continued much to his delight for it had been some number of nights since their last encounter. She was with a friend with whom he had not been previously acquaintedand decided to sieze the opportunity to throw the preverbial "mack down". Much to his chagrin he found that her buddy was sipping down a cool alcoholic beverage. Foiled, he decided to be a nice guy and cordially continued the conversation without the intention of "hooking up". He soon found that she had questions concerning the beliefs of his faith. Unaware of her intentions, whether they be filled with desire for divine progression ar filled malice and intent to deride, he offered his phone number with the desire to resolve any and all doubts she may have concerning the religion.

His final lesson that evening was that missionary opporunities present themselves when you least expect it in the least likely of places. Case in point, a brewery.

He finished his night with the recounting of his experiences to his room mates and neighbor and going to bed with the full intentions of sleeping the maximum number of hours.

I hope that you enjoyed my short story about my Saturday. Have a good one guys!

Marvel at my strength!!!

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=dZqbIRNejOY

Due to my lack of knowledge of how to post these here video thingies I have resorted to the simplicity of hyperlink go here and watch my movie. For you math majors,
My movie + you watching it = awesome pants! Enjoy!!

Sorry guys.

Hey guys! Long time no see right? I'm sorry I'm a horrible person for not having blogged in an excruciatingly long time. You have my deepest apologies and I really hope to one day redeem myself.

The reason for my absence has been for 2 reasons. 1- I felt like I was becoming a more negative person by posting my critical commentaries concerning other people and 2- my (so called) life is more boring than a box of crispix. That being said I've decided to tell you all what's been going on during my self inflicted leave of absence.

Well I'm still living in the same apartment with the same 2 guys one is known to the blogger world as sephian and the other is actually quite oblivious to this blogosphere, we shall name him.....hmmm...........soxfan, this name for his undying love for the Boston red sox. By undying I mean nigh on suicide-inducingly annoying, but that's for another day.

Recently I became a part of an exclusive group of men who smell dangerously good. It is by the help of an amazing fragrance produced by abercrombie and fitch. "What is this cologne?" you may be asking. Fear not for the answer is on the way. FIERCE. Gee golly jeepers it's probably the most desirable scent I have dawned myself with. Seriously, if I were a girl I would want to make out with me till the cows come home, find that their abode could no longer accommodate the 3 recently acquired children and decide to buy a new house in broiter grove. I hope you get the idea of that that is a ridiculously long time.

I've also found out a few cool thing about my family of which I previously had no knowledge. My grandfather once was a guard for Vice-president Nixon. Pretty cool, huh? He got an autographed picture in his office and everything. I also recently came into possession of a 115 year old banjo! It belonged to my great-great-grandfather and through my good luck I was chosen to inherit it. I'm fascinated by it's grandeur and esthetically pleasing features including the worn fret board the repaired skin and date at the bottom of the string harness of Mar. 6, 1894. I've got to be honest, few things have been as neat as the acquisition of said instrument.

Side note: I'm at work and just got a wrong number call from a southern woman by the name of Angela Kabong. She's recently retired and was looking for keiser retirement and didn't listen to me say "Ogden auto this is Steve."

That's how boring I've been and the reason for my silence. I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me and also to understand the reason for my inexpressive behavior. May your lives be more exciting than mine and your bellies be full. I know I don't want mine empty. Peace.

The Dark Knight and the link to sleep deprivation.

Thursday night I was giddy as a school girl in anticipation for the second installment of the new Batman movies "The Dark Knight". I was planning on going home after work and taking a nap as to not fall asleep during the movie, but much to my surprise that plan was thwarted by my cursed conscience and a desire to make my friends happy. My dear friend who will be called "Accountant Woman" needed my help. Her father was putting up a retaining wall in his back yard and they required my brawn. I curse the day I discovered that I could lift heavy objects repeatedly with minimal strain. I agreed with without debate and prepared myself to change my plans.

The hour arrived and for the next 3 hours I lifted brick after brick each weighing approx. 40 lbs. after those 3 hours my back was pretty tired and I was ready for a nap, but to no avail I Had to go home, shower and then arrive at the home of my friend who will be called Gordon (in the Spanish not English). we arrived at the Gordones and immediately started the hang out process quietly of course as to not wake the child. Finally the hour of the Dark Knight arrived. it was an emotional roller coaster the like of which I haven't experienced in a fort night at least. I really don't know how much time that is so let's say while instead. Heath Ledger revealed the true creepiness and extreme level disturbed psychosis that the Joker really was suffering or enjoying as he made it appear. I feel that if he were alive this is the performance that would've launched his career into a new level of the stratosphere. Amazing to say the least.

The movie over we departed to our respective homes. I couldn't get to sleep for like an hour which calculates to like 4 o'clock in the freaking morning. I woke up pissed off because I slept in an extra hour and was late for work still exhausted both physically and emotionally from the prior day's activities. Work was a blur I remember nothing from it. I went home with the intentions fro a 20 minute nap that soon turned into a 6 hour sleeping smorgasbord that resulted in another sleepless night. I hope I can get to sleep tonight.

The moral of the story is when you're an adult and have a job that starts early in the morning don't go to the midnight showing.

Song of the week.

Just as stated above, I have decided to let you all know what song is making happy this week, and after much deliberation and listening of music the winner has been decided. Ladies and gentlemen this weeks song is.....................Pork and Beans by Weezer. Mostly because of the music video. I hope to hear your feedback and commentary.

DeeZee. Better known as: We made the mistake but you fix it industries.

Today I was plagued by poor customer service from one of our product suppliers. they are a rather large company and since I know that the sound of my voice won't reach their deaf ears I'll straight out say it, DeeZee industries. Producer of truck accessories.

I post this to find out whether this makes sense because to me it doesn't. A month ago I ordered some bed caps for a 2007 GMC Sierra which despite popular belief is nothing like the 2007 Chevy Silverado. The part number listed in the catalog was 11978b when I ordered them I talked to a gentleman he took the order and I began to wait the 2-3 week arrival period. When they arrived i didn't see them another employee called the customer and he came and picked them up. I received a phone call yesterday of a customer complaining about how he had to wait forever and a day for the product to arrive and in the end it was the wrong part. I was shocked that a company that boasts to be the industry standard would send the wrong item. He returned today with the product and thus began the nuisance. I called DeeZee and after waiting 6 minutes was answered by a lady whose name I can't remember. I explained the situation in detail and when I gave her the part number from their book she said that number didn't exist. I looked in the book and read the number again repeating it very slowly and she asked what it was for. I told her and she said that the number for that product was 11977b I was sent 11987b (if you look above the original number was 11978b) so I thought of the possibility of when I ordered it that they possibly transposed some numbers and accidentally sent the wrong part. Her voice changed to an almost emotionless robotic sound, "I'm sorry I took the order and the number you were sent is the one you ordered i remember it specifically." I talked to a freaking dude the first time but knowing her inability to take responsibility for her own actions refused to dispute the case. She then told me that there would be a 15% restocking fee!! How freaking ridiculous is that?! I'm expected to pay a 15% restocking fee when they're the ones that screwed up in the first place. I said I'd talk to my customer and see what he wanted to do. I snapped after the customer left I went into a black out I regained consciousness when a co-worker asked me why I was muttering profanities to myself. In the end my intent is to discourage anyone from ever supporting the DeeZee coorperation by the purchase of their products. May God have mercy in their ignorant crack tooth hill-billy souls.

Mother's Day.

Sunday was mother's day and I was bored. I went to go do the usual Sunday thing, you know Church and all, but the day that is ever so affectionately dedicated to those that we refer to as mom was probably one of the most lack luster Sundays I've had in a long time.

I got to church a little later than normal cause I just mover and my timing is still a little off. I sat in a different spot than I normally do and that I think is what started to throw off my aura. the instructor for the day was one who will be called Mr. Let's-read-straight-out-0f-the-manual-so-i-don't-have-to-really-prepare-my-lesson-at-all Jones. We'll say Jonesy for short. he's a good guy and probably fun to hang out with but has no idea that 8:45 in the morning is not the most efficient way to help people enlighten themselves spiritually by reading for the entire lesson. I hate to have to get up and leave for the most of a lesson but, it was either me get up and leave or stand up half way through and say something loud and inappropriate to resurrect the attention of the quorum. When I came back in for the last five minutes of the reading I found that more than half the quorum was asleep. I was in a downtrodden state. I was hoping for a bit of improvement, but was sadly let down.

Sunday school was OK. The lesson was good, a little thought provoking but nothing to make me want to be a better person.

Sacrament meeting was also alright. The first speaker attempted to make some jokes about how he doesn't know what he'd do with out his mom. Which is funny cause he's 26 or 27 and still living at home and wondering why he doesn't have a girlfriend. He's also a very self righteous person and feels it his obligation to let everyone know that what they're doing is wrong. I can't remember who it was that said it but I read the talk while on my mission but it said that you can't raise anyone to a higher plain than the one that you're on. Let's just say trendy-haircut-non heterosexual-jacket-wearing-boy and his worldly focus mobile should shut the hell up before he gets himself in trouble. Enough said.

The second speaker was funny and the final speaker was short so the rest of the meeting was good. I had to stay after church for a little while because I'm a nice guy and choose to lend my automotive knowledge whenever possible. I went home, changed, went to my parents house and took a nap until my family arrived ate some food and then went went home. I was to say the least shocked at the eventfulness of the day. I'm still trying to think what could I have done differently to make the day better and in the end I think that there was nothing that I could have done to make it any better. It's depressing. I hope that this message reaches the ears of those that make a difference and that said people will take the necessary actions. Till next time, PapaBear.

I officially welcome me!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my head. For your safety I would like to pre-warn you of the possible ramblings and random thoughts that you may encounter in this wonderful journey through the recesses of that which has been deemed by some as a potentially dangerous realm know as.......my brain. Now I realise that this may not be a frightening situation for some but for others it may leave their internet viewing area a dilappid mess filled with feces and other sorts of human waste from the glory and greatness they will behold.

Alright, now on to the reason for my madness, this blog will initially be a place to release thoughts that I have not been able to release on the public scene. Be forewarned.

Today's topic: Praising non-exsistant talent.
This may seem to some of you as a harmless way that mormons make people feel better about themselves or an alternative to the suicide hotline. I say nay-nay my friends. What I discovered today is that this is a way to cause pain and suffering to small children and college aged people during sacrament meetings. The instigator to this ranting happened earlier today. I was happily enjoying sacrament meeting (to an extent) when they announced what was giong to happen for the remainder of the meeting, 2 speakers, young ladies who really aren't that bad looking so just in case the talks were less than enjoyable, they at least looked good doing it, and then to my horror and shocking apaulment, a musical number. O divine redeemer, performed by (for ananimty's (spelt wrong I know) sake) we will call them Milt and Large Marge. Shutter. To start the song, poor choice, and the performers have no sense of pitch and are in no way esteticly pleasing to the eye.
I sat through the first talk mildly paying attention and agreeing with the majority of the talk. I also realised that some people have very entertaining nervous laughs. The next talk was also good, pure testimony backed by a good solid topic, it was sincere and she d\s a pretty good looking girl so I was rather entertained. Then it happened. The piano was played correctly for the most part but I can only describe the singing this way. If you've ever seen a movie where they walk through an assylum where there are many disturbed people that make nioses uncontrolably, or oh oh, for those who have played assasins creed when you run into the handicapped people in the street and they run off screaming, that is how it sounded to me. as I sat there and longed for a hot poker or some other small sharp object to ram in my ear, I suffered the mental anguish the likes of which I have never before experienced.
I cried inside, until I realised who was to blame for this train wreck of a presentation. Mothers........mothers. Yes I said it. Moms that don't want to tell their little babies that they're not really all that good at what they're doing. I think that in baman begins it was stated best when burces father asked him "Why do we fall down?" the answer "so we can pick ourselves back up". Now here is where the technicalities play in, how did you fall? A lot of times, like in sacrament meeting today, people fall and they're too dense to realise that they've fallen and lay on the gound screeching a baby bird fallen from the nest. Maybe the person tripped and did pick themselves up and chose to better the situation. This is the ideal. But I find that sometimes we need to push those who need to be. Poeple can't get better if they're told that they're in a state of greatness. They'll feel it unecesary to do so. "what do you mean I'm off pitch, everyone else said I soudned great." that because they don't want to feel responsible for yuor selfinflicted domise. Which leads me to my point, if someone can't sing well tell them. It would save a lot of pain if we did so. that and it would make them feel the genuine need to improve. I love my mother. She always let me know when my singing was less than perfect and would not let me move on until it was at least appealing to the ear which in the end always seemed to be right on never off to the slightest degree.
I realise that this is a wordy first entry but it needed to be said and I felt so inclined to do so. May we all learn something from this and never settle for mediocrity, God wouldn't have it any other way.